Exercising Stoicism in Everyday Life: Developing Resilience to Suffering
Stoicism has always been a guiding light for me, especially when life gets tough. It’s a philosophy that doesn’t just preach resilience but teaches us how to build it, step by step, through our thoughts and actions. I want to share how I practice Stoicism in my daily life to develop resilience against suffering, and how you can too.
Understanding the Stoic Approach to Suffering
Suffering is an inevitable part of life, but the Stoics believed it’s not the events themselves that cause our pain, it’s how we perceive them. Epictetus, one of the great Stoic philosophers, taught that we should focus only on what is within our control, and let go of everything else. This simple yet profound idea forms the core of my approach to dealing with difficulties. For example, when faced with a stressful situation, I remind myself that I can’t control the situation itself, but I can control how I respond to it. This shift in perspective has been incredibly liberating.
The Dichotomy of Control: A Practical Tool
One of the most useful Stoic practices is the dichotomy of control. It involves distinguishing between what is within our control and what is not. According to Stoicism, we control our thoughts, actions, and responses, but we don’t control external events, other people’s opinions, or outcomes. By focusing on what I can control, I free myself from the anxiety that comes from trying to manage the uncontrollable.
For instance, if I’m working on a project, I concentrate on giving it my best effort. The result, whether it’s success or failure, is something I accept with equanimity because it’s beyond my control. This mindset not only reduces stress but also allows me to be more present and effective in my actions.
The Stoic emblem
Embracing Discomfort: Building Resilience
Stoics believe that we should embrace discomfort and see it as an opportunity to grow stronger. This is something I actively practice. Instead of shying away from challenges or hardships, I try to face them head-on. By doing so, I’ve learned that discomfort often leads to personal growth and resilience.
For example, if I’m faced with a difficult conversation or an uncomfortable situation, I don’t avoid it. Instead, I approach it as a chance to practice patience, courage, and self-control—core Stoic virtues. This doesn’t mean that I enjoy these situations, but I recognize their value in helping me develop mental and emotional strength.
How many times have you had to speak in public and had difficulty? In my case, it was many times. I am an introspective person by nature, but even so, I never miss an opportunity to speak in public. I am always in favor of leaving my comfort zone and facing my fears head on.
The Power of Negative Visualization
Another Stoic practice I find valuable is negative visualization. This involves contemplating the worst-case scenario in any given situation. While this might sound pessimistic, it’s actually a powerful tool for building resilience. By imagining the worst that could happen, I prepare myself emotionally and mentally, reducing the fear of the unknown and making it easier to cope if things do go wrong.
For instance, if I’m worried about losing something valuable, I spend a few moments imagining life without it. This practice not only lessens my attachment to material things but also helps me appreciate what I have while I still have it. It’s a way of training the mind to accept loss and change, which are inevitable in life.
Practicing Gratitude
Gratitude is another key aspect of Stoicism that I incorporate into my daily routine. The Stoics believed that we should be thankful for what we have, knowing that it could be taken away at any moment. Every night, I take a moment to reflect on the day and acknowledge the good things that happened, no matter how small. This practice shifts my focus from what’s lacking in my life to what’s present, fostering a sense of contentment and peace.
The Stoic Morning and Evening Routine
Mornings: I take five minutes and imagine the day ahead. What can go wrong or what am I afraid of? I imagine the worst that could happen. Then work to try to accept that these things are not under your control, like that prospect not signing a contract, whether there will be a public service strike that will disrupt my commute, an important document that for some reason will not be ready, a payment that is late, someone who did not keep their word. These are all things that are beyond my control.
Be aware of this and you will reduce your anxiety!